How to stop being so hard on yourself


Could inner shame be behind why I am sometimes depressed? This is a study on the ins and outs of inner shame by Wilma Watson!

This teaching session is a continuation of the previous session on uncovering inner shame and answering the question: Why do I feel stressed, anxious and sometimes depressed?

In the last session we began to uncover inner shame. Shame is a major issue that keeps us from experiencing God’s love, being able to love ourselves, and sharing God’s love with others. We discussed the many faces of shame, exposing it as the root that fuels all negative emotions, habits and addictions.

In the previous sessionUncovering the many faces of inner shame (part one) we saw that inner shame:

  1. Creates a need to control yourself and others.
  2. Shows itself through either a desire to please or rebel.
  3. Can show itself through relationship breakdown.
  4. Is behind all forms of abuse.
  5. At the root of all addictions.

In this session we’ll continue to seek to uncover more of the outworking of inner shame in our everyday life. Watch this:

How to break free from a low self-esteem and stop being so hard on yourself.  Wilma Watson has been showing you how to recognize and break free from low self-esteem!

This is a continuation of the last session. It now brings us to the third step to freedom from inner shame. Inner shame is behind our inner critic – driving us to be hard and critical of ourselves. When we dwell on negative, inward thoughts about ourselves, we become shame bound.

Watch this video and it will explain.

Every bondage begins with a lie.

John 8:44 tell us that: He (the devil) has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him.

When the devil lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. Our low self-esteem gives him an open door!

Freedom comes when you renounce the lie.

Follow by declaring the truth of God’s Word. John 8:32 tells us that: You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.  

We are now expose and renounce the common lies that the enemy can have us believe about God yourself and others.

A low self-esteem gives the enemy an open door to create lies about God. 

Lie: God is distant and unapproachable.

Decree the truth. I have direct access to You, Father God, and You hear and answer all my concerns and cries to You.

Colossians 1:22 (CEV Personalized) says, God made peace with me, and now He lets me stand in His presence…holy and faultless and innocent.

Lie: God doesn’t care about you.

Declare the truth about God’s faithfulness: I will cast all my anxieties on You, Jesus, for You care about me and rush to my side and rescue me in times of trouble. (Psalm 50:15) And I can give all my worries and cares to God, for He cares about me (1 Peter 5:7 NLT Personalized).

Lie: God doesn’t love you, if he did, he wouldn’t have put you in this situation.

Declare the truth about Father God: I am loved with the same love as You love Your Son, and nothing will ever separate me from Your love. (Romans 8;38-39, John 17:23)


A low self-esteem gives the enemy an open door to create lies about yourself.

Lie: You need to earn God’s love and acceptance.  (It’s a lie because the Bible assures us that we can’t earn God’s love and approval).

Declare the truth with me. Father God, I am grateful beyond measure for Your grace and mercy. I am completely accepted and loved by You, no matter what I do.

Titus 3:5 tells you that, He (Jesus) saved me, not because of anything I had done to gain his approval. Instead, because of His mercy He saved me (GWT Personalized).

Lie: You can’t do this. You won’t succeed!

True story:

A lady came for prayer and shared that she heard this lie every time she had to face a new challenge. This went on for most of her life! It’s a lie because the Bible assures you that you are not alone. Christ’s power enables you to face every challenge.

Reject this lie by declaring the truth of God’s Word. I have the same power within me that raised Christ from the dead (cf. Romans 8:11).  I can do everything through Christ, for He gives me strength (Philippians 4:13 NLT).

Lie: I am no one special.  (You are God’s unique precious child).

Declare the truth: God, the maker of the Universe, has selected me as Your very own. I know this to be true for Your Word says: [in His love] He chose me in Christ [actually selected me for Himself as His own] (Ephesians 1:4a Amp. Personalized).

Lie: You are not good enough to be used by God.

Demolish this accusation by declaring: Father God, in Your love and grace, through Your Son, Jesus, I’ve been made righteous before You to be used for Your glory. Ephesians tells me that God has made me holy in his eyes, without a single fault– I stand before Him covered with His love (Ephesians 1:4b TLB Personalized).

Lie: Your sin or addiction is not such a big deal.  (Satan wants to keep you in bondage with this lie).

Renounce this lie and declare the truth. God wants me to be holy and to stay away from sexual sins. For 1 Thessalonians tells me that God wants me to learn to control my own body in a way that is holy and honourable. Not to use my body for sexual sin like the people who do not know God. God has called me to be holy and does not want me to live in sin (1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 NCV Personalised).


A low self-esteem gives the enemy an open door to create lies about others.

Lie: You can’t receive prayer or help as it is a sign of weakness.

The truth is: God has ordained that I relate to other believers in such a way that we can help each other fight the fight of faith successfully, day in and day out until the end And Galatians tells me to: Share each other’s troubles and problems, and so obey our Lord’s command (Hebrews 3:12-14) and (Galatians 6:2 TLB).

Lie: Your identity hinges on what others think about you.

Reject this lie as you now have a new identity in Christ and declare the truth: I am overwhelmed by how rich Your love is for me Father, for You say: What marvellous love the Father has extended to me! I’ve been called a child of God! (1 John 3:1 MSG Personalized).

Lie: You don’t need to connect with others for they’ll control you and/or won’t agree with you.  (You don’t have to allow your spirit to be controlled or manipulated by a controlling person. But you do have to show them God’s love and not take an offense, because you now understand that their core issue is inner shame and they need to be set free, like you).

1 Peter 4:8 (NLT) tells me to: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.

True story:

There was a businessman who came for prayer who was struggling financially. It was revealed that his father put him down regularly, telling him, “You’ll never succeed, you’ll never amount to anything.”

When the lie was renounced, and the truth decreed, within an hour he had a financial breakthrough. We have seen it happen many times!


In the next session we’ll seek to help you break free from low self-worth.


Don’t miss any of the teaching:

How can I be sure I’ll go to heaven?
Why am I so stressed?
Why am I sometimes depressed?
How to stop being so hard on myself
How break free from a low self-worth
How do I let go of past hurts
How to break free from bad relationships
How to break free from family weaknesses
How to remove self-defense walls?
How to deal with a past loss

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